Been A Long Time Waiting

Blimey, didnt quite keep to my promise of keeping this updated did I!?

So, what have i been up to recently?

Well, went to uni. Was really fun for the first few weeks- everything they say about freshers week is true. Was in a flat with 5 other people - we were a very bizarre bunch - and one girl was from brighton. We had in fact worked in the same place, at the same time, and she lived around the corner from my friend - but we had never met! Amazing that we can be so close to somebody yet never know them. Physically and emotional - I suspect.

The actual course was ok - as I said previously i was studying Music & Media Management. Perfect for me - you would think. Although some of it was interesting, i deep down knew i wasnt happy. But because i couldnt admit to myself that it was the fact I had made the wrong choice - not in going to university - but in going to one which i knew would not challenge me, - i did a lot of stupid things, and risked a lot, almost lost a lot. THAT would have been a big mistake, one of those 'never forgive yourself' situations.

Fortunately, i realised that university wasnt for me.

For me, that was a big thing. I've always planned out my life 5 years ahead. A major part of my plan was going to university, graduating, and getting an ace job. In the mean time making some real friends for life. It was a really hard decision - and like most people, i imagine, i felt i was particularly letting my mum down. She had been so proud, and going around shouting aboutt he fact that i had gone to university. I felt really bad for letting her down - as i wanted her to have something to prove to the rest of the family that she has bought up me really well..Its stupid i know. I just wanted to make her proud - a normal instinct i guess. really i knew that she would support me in what ever made me happy.

I feel so silly with the amount of stress and tantrums ive thrown at two particular boyfriends in my lead up to university - Gregg while I was doing my GCSEs, and Neil whilst applying for uni. Many apologies for putting you through that! It felt like my world would end if i didnt go to uni. Looking back, just a few years now, i feel i was so naive. I guess i was (am) only young - all about learning.

I met a lot of fantastic people at uni - again going back to an earlier post - people i would never in a million years though I would get on with. But it worked some how. I was really dissapointed when i first got there. I imagined id meet my 'kindred spirit', some one who felt the same about matters that i did, who i could talk about music and books and other things where we had a shared interest. Who was fun - with out the help of drugs - and could understand why i didnt do them. It didnt really happen like that. As i said,the people i met were so varied, but i didnt...have that kind of bond. I think i built it up too much - with all the stories of university id read/heard...too much hype i guess. But dont get me wrong, the people I did meet are really sweet, and i do hope i stay in contact.

So anyway, I stuck my CV up on monster.com, and started looking for jobs. Went for a couple of interviews - one at the radio times, a coupel fo media buyer jobs...nothing particularly exciting, and then i was called up and called in for an interview of a job i didnt even apply for! Which i where i still am now, 4 months later.

Its basically my dream job...I couldnt of even imagined getting something like this after i graduated! Good wage, great people, ever growing company in the areas i want to be - film, tv, music & events. Plus i get to go to glitzy after shows and awards/album launches etc. The best thing is - I dont mean to blow my own trumpet - but im bloody good at my job. Finally found something i genuinely am good at. Not just 'ok', im REALLY good at it, and always getting better. Its exciting - im making a career out for myself, and im only 20 years old.

So my lessons learnt are;
Planning doesnt work - just have a general focus. The best things happen by accident.
Be less judgemental and more tolerant of people.
Don't take things for granted. When you come closse to losing what you care about - you'll realise. Not risking it in the first place, is the best way to go.
Some impulses are best not followed.
Prioritise - work, feelings - everything.
Then organise.
Alcohol is NOT the best thing to spent thousands of pounds on!

Over and Out.