My to-read list

Feed me.

I'm going to compile a list of books I haven't read at all/in many years.  Books I really should have, and just haven't got round too, or read many many moons ago and don't really remember anymore. 

Then I'm actually going to read them. 

Below is the start of this, but I would love your input - any books you love - what's your favourite book? What books do you tell everyone about when you get the chance? Tell me!

• Dermaphoria - Craig Clevenger
  
• Cider with Rosie - Laurie Lee
• Middlemarch - George Eliot
• Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
• Tess of the D'ubervilles - Thomas Hardy
• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
• The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
• The Road - Cormac McCarthy
• No Country for Old Men - Cormac McCarthy
• Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• American Tabloid - James Ellroy
• High Fidelity - Nick Hornby
• Snuff - Chuck Palahniuk
• The Ethical Slut - Dossie Easton
• The 120 Days of Sodom - Marquis de Sade

Look forward to your contributions!

Plus (because I'm cheap) if you live near by and have any of the above books, any chance I can borrow them!? Cheers!

Over & out.

x

*sigh*

I just don't have the energy anymore.

I didn't think my life would ever be like this, that I would ever feel like this. Funny how things work out?

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I just start crying. I don't even realise at first, and then suddenly I notice tears streaming down my face. I can't stop them. It goes on for hours. This is becoming frighteningly frequent.

Sometimes, I'm too afraid to get out of bed in the mornings, because I know the day will be full of dissappointment.

Sometimes, I don't leave the house. Becuase outside - anything could happen. I don't know if I trust myself to not walk in front of a bus - just to feel alive for a split second.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't block the people that care out, and scare the people that don't off.

Sometimes, I wonder if my happiness is worth hurting others to achieve, or if I should just swallow my feelings, my dreams, my wants and desires because I know I can make them happy.

Sometimes, I think my lack of creativity is the real root to all my pain. I have no way to express myself.

Sometimes, I wonder if my pain is real. Do I even have any? Seems nothing in comparison to some. Perhaps I'm just numb.

Sometimes, I drink because I don't want to think anymore.

Sometimes, I used to fuck virgins, just so I was unforgettable to someone, somewhere.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm lost when I'm not trying to save someone else. I only have me to think about, and that is a horrible feeling.

Sometimes, I lay awake until 6.30am in the morning. Then I wake up around 9am, and just stare at the ceiling. I tell everyone I don't wake up till after 11.30am, it's sort of like being alive and no one knowing.

Sometimes, I wonder if anyone knows how scared I am they will work me out?